Early start this morning so I found myself at home not long after midday.

I was enjoying frozen yoghurt. Mango.

The day had turned warm.
It tends to get warm when one is running around the paddocks chasing cattle.

Cows are rather intelligent when they want to be.

Behind the facade of stupidity lies a cunning that isn't matched by too many other animals. For instance, you want a cow to move somewhere, they just stand and look at you. Even with a bit of prodding with a fire-stick they're likely just to run in any direction and usually the exact opposite to the one you need them to run in. You'll then find them in the farthest corner of whatever paddock they're in. This is compounded when combined with the herd mentality. On their own they have some semblance of free will, but in a herd the only thought to occur is a recurring "RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY".

However, if you turn your back...
They will find the only open gate within... oh about a thousand square miles. The one that leads to the road that you thought you closed, but just happened to swing back open. That one completely out of sight that you figured you had enough time to duck down and close. Or even the one that looks closed but is actually just a fart away from falling open.

A Cow has an "open gate" sense.

On its own in an average sized paddock... say fifteen acres, a Cow will find an open gate in approximately fifteen minutes. A herd of Cows will find the open gate instantly. Their combined "open gate" sense has an unlimited range. You turn your back and they're running directly for the gate. You couldn't get a straighter line if you were on tracks.

They also learn very quickly that if they can jump a fence, it's fairly likely they can jump any fence. Once this realization takes hold, Cows become veritable Kangaroos. Nothing can stop them. Even gates are no longer important, for why worry about a gate when you can just jump the old fence and be done with it. Is the grass greener on the other side? Well, lets find out.. BOOIIING. Why yes it is!

I have such a cow. A steer actually. It has an acute "open gate" sense combined with a talent for high-jump. Behind that innocent dumb look is a cunning and masochistic mind. I'm sure of this. I can see the smirk as it turns and, nonchalantly, walks away. I'm left cursing and swearing under my breath wishing I'd brought the fire-arm.
Fuming!! ...picture Wal Footrot.

It thinks it's smart, and for a steer it probably is. I'm sure, given the chance, it could win gold medals in the "open-gate-finding-high-jump-fence-clearing" biathlon event at the international bovine olympics.

But it won't and I'm smarter.

One guess where that little bugger's going this weekend.

Only one decision remains... pepper or mushroom sauce?
Don't feel so smart now do we? Punk!

Tags: farmerism