If you don't think Monty Python is some of the funniest stuff around then there's something wrong with you. I have noticed that a lot of the younger generation (younger than me) do not understand the humour of the Pythons.

I believe this is genetic damage. I'm convinced that something in the water has caused irreversible damage to the funny genes of the current generation. How on earth could there ever be such a personality like 'Emo' if they understood Monty Python at a genetic level? It's impossible.

However, this damage can be reversed with a solid dose of Python twice a day for one week. Only one week, such is the power of the Python.

I recommend the following: two coconut-halves of "Holy Grail" followed quickly by a fjord-full of "Parrot Sketch". If the patient requires something stronger, crucify-by-immediate-discussion with "Life of Brian" at the end of the week.

I particularly liked the Bruces' sketch and can't help but feel it was rather closer to the truth than the 'learned types' care to admit.

[Queue the Pythons]

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel.

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away--
Half a crate of whisky every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram,

And René Descartes was a drunken fart.
'I drink, therefore I am.'

Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker,
But a bugger when he's pissed.

Tags: humor