Early start this morning so I found myself at home not long after midday.

I was enjoying frozen yoghurt. Mango.

The day had turned warm.
It tends to get warm when one is running around the paddocks chasing cattle.

Cows are rather intelligent when they want to be.

Behind the facade of stupidity lies a cunning that isn't matched by too many other animals. For instance, you want a cow to move somewhere, they just stand and look at you. Even with a bit of prodding with a fire-stick they're likely just to run in any direction and usually the exact opposite to the one you need them to run in. You'll then find them in the farthest corner of whatever paddock they're in. This is compounded when combined with the herd mentality. On their own they have some semblance of free will, but in a herd the only thought to occur is a recurring "RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY".

However, if you turn your back...
They will find the only open gate within... oh about a thousand square miles. The one that leads to the road that you thought you closed, but just happened to swing back open. That one completely out of sight that you figured you had enough time to duck down and close. Or even the one that looks closed but is actually just a fart away from falling open.

A Cow has an "open gate" sense.

On its own in an average sized paddock... say fifteen acres, a Cow will find an open gate in approximately fifteen minutes. A herd of Cows will find the open gate instantly. Their combined "open gate" sense has an unlimited range. You turn your back and they're running directly for the gate. You couldn't get a straighter line if you were on tracks.

They also learn very quickly that if they can jump a fence, it's fairly likely they can jump any fence. Once this realization takes hold, Cows become veritable Kangaroos. Nothing can stop them. Even gates are no longer important, for why worry about a gate when you can just jump the old fence and be done with it. Is the grass greener on the other side? Well, lets find out.. BOOIIING. Why yes it is!

I have such a cow. A steer actually. It has an acute "open gate" sense combined with a talent for high-jump. Behind that innocent dumb look is a cunning and masochistic mind. I'm sure of this. I can see the smirk as it turns and, nonchalantly, walks away. I'm left cursing and swearing under my breath wishing I'd brought the fire-arm.
Fuming!! ...picture Wal Footrot.

It thinks it's smart, and for a steer it probably is. I'm sure, given the chance, it could win gold medals in the "open-gate-finding-high-jump-fence-clearing" biathlon event at the international bovine olympics.

But it won't and I'm smarter.

One guess where that little bugger's going this weekend.

Only one decision remains... pepper or mushroom sauce?
Don't feel so smart now do we? Punk!

Tags: farmerism

I'm a rather big Stephen King fan. A fan in the sense that I've read almost everything he's ever written more than once, and everything he's ever released in Australia... more than once. As I was hunting around for the contents of the previous blog entry I came across the Gunslinger Litany. I had this tucked away on a CD from years back.

It always reminds me of Clint Eastwood, or rather the character of Roland reminds me of Clint Eastwood (greatest western gunslinger ever created..You can thank me later Clint). Can you imagine a world where everyday people took this type of thing seriously? I can, I look forward to it. To me it seems a much simpler life.

The Gunslinger Litany
( ...as recited by Roland of Gilead, last of the Gunslingers)

I do not aim with my hand.
He who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.
I aim with my Eye.

I do not shoot with my hand.
He who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.
I shoot with my Mind.

I do not kill with my hand.
He who kills with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.
I kill with my Heart.

Tags: books, stephen king

The Lorax
by Dr. Seuss

At the far end of town
where the Grickle-grass grows
and the wind smells slow-and-sour when it blows
and no birds ever sing excepting old crows...
is the Street of the Lifted Lorax

And deep in the Grickle-grass, some people say,
if you look deep enough you can still see, today,
where the Lorax once stood
just as long as it could
before somebody lifted the Lorax away.

What was the Lorax?
And why was it there?
And why was it lifted and taken somwhere
from the far end of town where the Grickle-grass grows?
The old Once-ler still lives here.
Ask him. He knows.

You won't see the Once-ler.
Don't knock at his door.
He stays in his Lerkim on top of his store.
He lurks in his Lerkim, cold under the roof,
where he makes his own clothes
out of miff-muffered moof.
And on special dank midnights in August,
he peeks
out of the shutters
and sometimes he speaks
and tells how the Lorax was lifted away.

He'll tell you, perhaps...
if you're willing to pay.

On the end of a rope
he lets down a tin pail
and you have to toss in fifteen cents
and a nail
and the shell of the great-great-great-
grandfather snail.

Then he pulls up the pail,
makes a most careful count
to see if you've paid him
the proper amount.

Then he hides what you paid him
away in his Snuvv,
his secret strange hole
in his gruvvulous glove.

Then he grunts, "I will call you by Whisper-ma-Phone,
for the secrets I tell are for your ears alone."

SLUPP!

Down slupps the Whisper-ma-Phone to your ear
and the old Once-ler's whispers are not very clear,
since they have to come down
throught a snergelly hose,
and he sounds
as if he had
smallish bees up his nose.

"Now I'll tell you," he says, with his teeth sounding gray,
"how the Lorax got lifted and taken away...

It all started way back...
such a long, long time back...

Way back in the days when the grass was still green
and the pond was still wet
and the clouds were still clean,
and the song of the Swomee-Swans rang out in space...
one morning, I came to this glorious place.

And I first saw the trees!
The Truffula Trees!
The bright-colored tufts of the Truffula Trees!
Mile after mile in the fresh morning breeze.

And, under the trees, I saw Brown Bar-ba-loots
frisking about in their Bar-bo-loot suits
as they played in the shade and ate Truffula Fruits.

From the rippulous pond
came the comfortable sound
of the Humming-Fish humming
while splashing around.

But those trees! Those trees!
Those Truffula Trees!

All my life I'd been searching
for trees such as these.
The touch of their tufts
was much softer than silk.
And they had the sweet smell of fresh butterfly milk.

I felt a great leaping
of joy in my heart.
I knew just what I'd do!
I unloaded my cart.

In no time at all, I had built a small shop.
Then I chopped down a Truffula Tree with one chop.
And with great skillful skill and with great speedy speed.
I took the soft tuft. And I knitted a Thneed!

The instant I'd finished, I heard a ga-Zump!
I looked.
I saw something pop out of the stump
of the tree I'd chopped down. It was sort of a man.
Describe him?...That's hard. I don't know if I can.

He was shortish. And oldish.
And brownish. And mossy.
And he spoke with a voice
that was sharpish and bossy.

"Mister!" he said with a sawdusty sneeze,
"I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees.
I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues.
And I'm asking you, sir, at the top of my lungs"--
he was very upset as he shouted and puffed--
"Whats that THING you've made out of my Truffula tuft?"

"Look, Lorax," I said. "There's no cause for alaram.
I chopped just one tree. I am doing no harm.
I'm being quite useful. This thing is a Thneed.
A Thneed's a Fine-Something-That-All-People-Need!

It's a shirt. It's a sock. It's a glove. It's a hat.
But it has other uses. Yes, far beyond that.
You can use it for carpets. For pillows! For sheets!
Or curtains! Or covers for bicycle seats!"

The Lorax said,
"Sir! You are crazy with greed.
There is no one on earth
who would buy that fool Thneed!"

But the very next minute I proved he was wrong.
For, just at that minute, a chap came along,
and he thought that the Thneed I had knitted was great.
He happily bought it for three ninety-eight.

I laughed at the Lorax, "You poor stupid guy!
You never can tell what some people will buy."

"I repeat," cried the Lorax,
"I speak for the trees!"

"I'm busy," I told him.
"Shut up, if you please."

I rushed 'cross the room, and in no time at all,
built a radio-phone. I put in a quick call.
I called all my brothers and uncles and aunts
and I said, "Listen here! Here's a wonderful chance
for the whole Once-ler Family to get mighty rich!
Get over here fast! Take the road to North Nitch.
Turn left at Weehawken. Sharp right at South Stitch."

And, in no time at all,
in the factory I built,
the whole Once-ler Family
was working full tilt.
We were all knitting Thneeds
just as busy as bees,
to the sound of the chopping
of Truffula Trees.

Then...
Oh! Baby! Oh!
How my business did grow!
Now, chopping one tree
at a time
was too slow.

So I quickly invented my Super-axe-hacker
which whacked off four Truffula Trees at one smacker.
We were making Thneeds
four times as fast as before!
And that Lorax?...
He didn't show up any more.

But the next week
he knocked
on my new office door.

He snapped, "I'm the Lorax who speaks for the trees
which you seem to be chopping as fast as your please.
But I'm also in charge of the Brown Bar-ba-loots
who played in the shade in their Bar-ba-loot suits
and happily lived, eating Truffula Fruits.

"NOW...thanks to your hacking my trees to the ground,
there's not enough Truffula Fruit to go 'round.
And my poor Bar-ba-loots are all getting the crummies
because they have gas, and no food, in their tummies!

"They loved living here. But I can't let them stay.
They'll have to find food. And I hope that they may.
Good luck, boys," he cried. And he sent them away.

I, the Once-ler, felt sad
as i watched them all go.
BUT...
business is business!
And business must grow
regardless of crummies in tummies, you know.

I meant no harm. I most truly did not.
But I had to grow bigger. So bigger I got.
I biggered my factory. I biggered my roads.
I biggered my wagons. I biggered the loads
of the Thneeds i shipped out. I was shippping them forth
to the South! To the East! To the West! To the North!
I went right on biggering...selling more Thneeds.
And I biggered my money, which everyone needs.

Then again he came back! I was fixing some pipes
when that old-nuisance Lorax came back with more gripes.

"I am the Lorax," he coughed and he whiffed.
He sneezed and he snuffled. He snarggled. He sniffed.
"Once-ler!" he cried with a cruffulous croak.
"Once-ler! You're making such smogulous smoke!
My poor Swomee-Swans...why, they can't sing a note!
No one can sing who has smog in his throat.

"And so," said the Lorax,
"--please pardon my cough--
they cannot live here.
So I'm sending them off.

"Where will they go?...
I don't hopefully know.

They may have to fly for a month...or a year...
To escape from the smog you've smogged-up around here.

"What's more," snapped the Lorax. (His dander was up.)
"Let me say a few words about Gluppity-Glupp.
Your machinery chugs on, day and night without stop.
making Gluppity-Glupp. Also Schloppity-Schlopp.
And what do you do with this leftover goo?...
I'll show you. You dirty old Once-ler man, you!

"You're glumping the pond hwere the Humming-Fish hummed!
No more can they hum, for their gills are all gummed.
So I'm sending them off. Oh, their future is dreary.
They'll walk on their fins and get woefully weary
in search of some water that isn't so smeary.
I hear things are just as bad up in Lake Erie."

And then I got mad.
I got terribly mad.
I yelled at the Lorax, "Now listen here, Dad!
All you do is yap-yap and say, 'Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!'
Well, I have my rights, sir, and I'm telling you
I intend to go on doing just what I do!
And, for your information, you Lorax, I'm figgering
on biggering
and BIGGERING
and BIGGERING
and BIGGERING,
turning MORE Truffula Trees into Thneeds
which everyone, EVERYONE, EVERYONE needs!"

And at that very moment, we heard a load whack!
From outside in the fields came a sickening smack
of an axe on a tree. Then we heard the tree fall.
The very last Truffula Tree of them all!

No more trees. No more Thneeds. No more work to be done.
So, in no time, my uncles and aunts, every one,
all waved me good-bye. They jumped into my cars
and drove away under the smoke-smuggered stars.

Now all that was left 'neath the bad-smelling sky
was my big empty factory
the Lorax...
and I.

The Lorax said nothing. Just gave me a glance...
just gave me a very sad, sad backward glance...
as he lifted himself by the seat of his pants.
And I'll never forget the grim look on his face
when he heisted himself and took leave of this place,

through a hole in the smog, without leaving a trace.

And all that the Lorax left here in this mess
was a small pike of rocks, with the one word...
"UNLESS."
Whatever that meant, well, I just couldn't guess.

That was long,long ago.
But each day since that day
I've sat here and worried
and worried away.
Through the years, while my buildings
have fallen apart,
I've worried about it
with all of my heart.

"But now," says the Once-ler,
"Now that you're here,
the word of the Lorax seems perfectly clear.
UNLESS someone like you
cares a whole awful lot,
nothing is going to get better.
It's not.

"SO...
Catch!" calls the Once-ler.
He lets something fall.
"It's a Truffula Seed.
It's the last one of all!
You're in charge of the last of the Truffula Seeds.
And Truffular Trees are what everyone needs.

Plant a new Truffula. Treat it with care.
Give it clean water. And feed it fresh air.
Grow a forest. Protect it from axes that hack.
Then the Lorax
and all of his friends
may come back."

Tags: climate change

This is how I upgraded my Novell GroupWise 6.5.7 system to 7.0.2.

Novell have ensured that the upgrade process to GroupWise 7 is as smooth as possible, and realise that it may not be completed in a single task. As such the upgrade can be broken up over a number of days spread over months if required. This is a good thing, as initially I had only a single 3hr maintenance window per week to work with. In the end I managed to get a Saturday to do the work, and roped in a few mates to help out with some of the other tasks.

My overall process follows Novell's guidelines and goes like this:

Create SDD in advance called GW7SDD
Upgrade the primary domain
Upgrade the secondary domain
Upgrade the post offices in the primary domain
Install new GWIA in the primary domain
Upgrade the post offices in the secondary domain
Install new GWIA in the secondary domain
Create new WebAccess environment

Preparation for the upgrade included the following:

Top-down rebuild of GW 6.5.7 system
Printed config documentation from the Webconsoles of each MTA/POA/GWIA/Webacc
Copied GW7 snapins to ConsoleOne
Logged a service call with Novell for support if required.
(With this last one I gave Novell Technical Support a date and time that I was intending to conduct the upgrade so that they could be on hand should a fan distribute the proverbial).

My rollback plan consisted of a number of technologies.

First of all, I was installing the new GW7 components into a subdirectory of SYS:\SYSTEM so that they wouldn't over-write the 6.5 nlms.
I also had the SAN administrator take a clone of the mail LUNS on the SAN
I had copies of SYS:\SYSTEM on both mail servers
I took copies of the Domain and PO databases

The rollback process was to be like this:

Unload all agents
Comment out all agent load lines in the AUTOEXEC.NCF
Dismount all mail volumes on server
Detach LUN's
Attache SAN clone and mount on server
Load original 6.5 agents

I tested this procedure a number of times in a test environment and it worked perfectly. I didn't have to use the rollback however.

The update process.

The first step in the update process is to upgrade the schema. As I was already running 6.5, this wasn't required.

My original process worked along the lines of several 3 hour sessions of work.

Session 1
Set all logging to VERBOSE in ConsoleOne
Stop the GW driver in IDM and unload DIRXML.NLM
Unload all POA's, MTA and GWIA on servers
Shutdown the webaccess services
Clone mail LUNs
Start all MTA's and POA's
Disable incoming SMTP mail at gateway
Comment out the MTA load line in AUTOEXEC.NCF
Copy the GW7SDD to the server
Unload the MTA for the Primary domain
Change the GW driver in IDM to GW7.0
Create a backup copy of WPDOMAIN.DB
Connect to Primary domain with ConsoleOne and run RECOVER to actual location
Run a validate to actual location
Copy the *.dc files from \gw7sdd\domain to the domain directory
Copy the *.dc files from \gw7sdd\po to the wpoffice directory under the domain directory
Run the \gw7sdd\agents\install.exe and install to sys:\system\gw70
Add the primary domain to the upgrade list
Complete the install but do not launch the MTA automatically
Edit the autoexec.ncf and modify the load line for the MTA to suite
Load the MTA and wait 60 seconds, watching the admin recover status until complete
Confirm the domain is upgraded in ConsoleOne
Allow 15mins for admin changes to sync to the rest of the system
Total time - 35mins

Repeat the above process for Secondary domains ensuring to connect to the secondary domain.

Upgrade Post Offices in Primary Domain

Comment out the load lines for the POA's in the AUTOEXEC.NCF
Unload the POA
Create a backup copy of WPHOST.DB
Connect to Primary domain and rebuild the post office
Copy the *.dc files from \gw7sdd\po to the root of the post office folder
Run the \gw7sdd\agents\install.exe and install into sys:\system\gw70
Select the post office and complete the install, do not launch the POA automatically.
Edit the load line for the poa to suite the install location
Load POA and watch the console screen for the agent for errors
Confirm PO has been upgraded in ConsoleOne.
(IMPORTANT) Copy the \gw7sdd\client\ofviews\win\*.vew to the PO\ofviews\win folder on the server
Total time: 30mins

Repeat for all other PO's in the primary domain.

Install new GWIA in the primary domain

Unload the GWIA on the server
Comment out the load lines in the AUTOEXEC.NCF
Create a copy of the gwia.cfg in sys:\system\
Run \gw7sdd\internet\gwia\install.exe and install into sys:\system\gw70
Enter the path to the primary domain
Finish the install and check the database version for the GWIA in ConsoleOne. Change to 7.0.1 if necessary
Edit the AUTOEXEC.NCF to reflect the path to the new GWIA location
Load the GWIA
Transfer the settings from the old GWIA to the new one by comparing them in ConsoleOne.

Post session 1 upgrade activity
Re-enable SMTP gateway traffic
Restart WebAccess
Re-enable the GW IDM driver
Install GW7 client and test login
Set appearance to GW 6.5 at the domain level
Remove unused SAN clones

Session 2
Disable incoming SMTP traffic at gateway
Unload POA's MTA's, GWIA of secondary domain
Clone the email LUNs
Load MTA and POA's on secondary domain

Upgrade Domain, Post offices and GWIA's as per session 1 ensuring you connect to the owning domain.

WebAccess

I created a completely new WebAccess environment running along side the old 6.5.
I created two WebAccess servers and configured them for fail-over (How I did this will be the subject of another blog). In front of the WebAccess application is a content switch to load balance between them.

Tags: groupwise, Novell

Democracy at its greatest is on display.
Thankfully it's all over. If I had to listen to Kevin Rudd say "Working Families" or Julia Gillard say "EmploYEES and EmploYERS" one more time I think a seismic event would occur.

For better or for worse Australia has spoken.

The Howard era is at an end and Prime Minister Kevin Rudd takes the helm of the country. (This is the assumption, I can't imagine the Labor Party putting forward a different person as PM when they ask the Governor General to take power.)

This will be an interesting time. All things considered, the new Labor government takes over at a time of high prosperity, we have no national debt of which to speak, our employment rate has never been higher, and consumer confidence is so high that Australia's personal debt is in the tens of billions.

The election wasn't a landslide, but Labor has won enough seats to form government. Australia is now in almost virgin territory. Both Federal and all State governments are Labor. This has only happened once in Australia's history. The last time was back in the early 20th century when the Liberal Party controlled both Federal and State for some 9 months or so. Back then there was an almost immediate correction whereby the Labor Party and National Party took control of various states ensuring a single party did not control the two highest forms of government. I only hope this occurs again, as there must be balance. No party should have control of both Federal Government and State Government, in my view.

John Howard will now retire, and I think he has earned a comfortable one. Regardless of what one might think of his government and its policies, I consider him as Australia's greatest PM yet. He wasn't afraid to make the hard decisions and I think most people will accept that he did his best for the country and her citizens, without shirking his responsibilities as the nations leader. Kevin has some rather large shoes to fill and only time will tell if he has the mettle to do it.

Personally, I didn't vote Labor. There are reasons for this, and they ensure I will never vote Labor. I am not alone, and this shows in the way that Labor did not even come close to taking my electorate.

However, change is good. At the right time, change can be very beneficial and it seems that this time is now.

For those of us who use this powerful FREE office application suite, OpenOffice.org have released version 2.3.
This new version sees quite a number of enhancements to the overall product.
For those of you who don't use OO, here is a quick breakdown of what the product offers...

Writer

WRITER has everything you would expect from a modern, fully equipped word processor or desktop publisher.

Impress

IMPRESS is a truly outstanding tool for creating effective multimedia presentations. Your presentations will stand out with 2D and 3D clip art, special effects, animation, and high-impact drawing tools.

Calc

CALC is the spreadsheet program you've always wanted. Newcomers find it intuitive and easy to learn; professional data miners and number crunchers will appreciate the comprehensive range of advanced functions.

Draw

DRAW - from a quick sketch to a complex plan, DRAW gives you the tools to communicate with graphics and diagrams.

Base

New to Version 2, BASE enables you to manipulate database data seamlessly within OpenOffice.org. Create and modify tables, forms, queries, and reports, either using your own database or BASE’s own built-in HSQL database engine. BASE offers a choice of using Wizards, Design Views, or SQL Views for beginners, intermediate, and advanced users.

Math

MATH is OpenOffice.org's component for mathematical equations. It is most commonly used as an equation editor for text documents, but it can also be used with other types of documents or stand-alone. When used inside WRITER, the equation is treated as an object inside the text document.

That's just some of what OpenOffice.org has to offer. Check out some reviews of the product here. You can also get a promotional flyer here.
Best of all, OpenOffice.org runs on Windows, Linux, OSX, and many more. Is it compatible with M$ Office? Why yes it is, and it will only become more compatible as M$ adopts the Open Document Format (ODF) as it is in M$ Office 2007.
Download OpenOffice.org today and see what the free world is using.

Tags: openoffice.org, mac, Linux

I thank Chappo for the inspiration for this blog entry. A list of his top 10 favorite songs made me think about which 10 I would take with me if I were to be trapped on a desert island. In no particular order, this is what I came up with...

Down Under - Men at work
Sounds of Then - GANGgajang
Throw your arms around me - Hunters and Collectors
Man of Colours - Icehouse
Who wants to live Forever - Queen
Indian Pacific - Slim Dusty
Fields of Gold - Sting
Feeling Good - Nina Simone
Milk and Toast and Honey - Roxette
Shilo - Neil Diamond

Creating this list was rather difficult. It would be easier for me to create a list of top 20. But I guess, after I had created that list I would want to add yet more songs. It was hard, but I kept it to 10. I'm not going to tell you why I like these particular songs. You'll just have to listen to them to figure that out.
Of course, if I was stuck on that desert island for any length of time I would quickly grow to hate this list. Too much of a good thing is never good.

The Keith Tulloch wine label is all that is par excellence about wine. A recent sojourn through the Hunter Valley saw me visit this small but esteemed winery. My previous blog entries on wine have always been about a specific vintage, but this one has to be about the label.
My experience with the wine under this label is somewhat limited however I did taste-test everything they had to offer and I must say that nothing disappointed. All wines had a recommended storages of between 5 and 15 years which I will adhere to... perhaps, but they were very nice as they were. I'm looking forward to 2022.

I recommend this label to anyone interested in really fine wine. Get a couple of bottles so you can open one in 5 and then 10 years. You won't be disappointed. After all, what better way to acquire a red nose?

Stay tuned for an update when I crack the first bottle.

Tags: wines

C3PO: "Uh, the mighty Jabba asks why he must pay fifty thousand."
Bounty Hunter Boushh (in Ubese): "A yuttoh!"
C3PO: "Because he's holding a THERMAL DETONATOR!!!!"

The guards instantly back away, as do most of the other monsters in the room. Jabba stares at the silver ball, which begins to glow in the bounty hunter's hand. The room has fallen into a tense hush. Jabba stares at the bounty hunter malevolently until a sly grin creeps across his vast mouth and he begins to laugh.

Jabba (in Huttese): This bounty hunter is my kind of scum. Fearless and inventive.

C3PO: Jabba offers the sum of thirty-five. And I suggest you take it.

There is a pause and then Boushh releases a switch on the thermal detonator and it goes dead.

Boushh (in Ubese): "Yuttoh Cha"

C3PO: He agrees!

The silent crowd breaks out in cheers and applause as the party returns returns to normal. Boushh surveys the scene while speaking to C3PO, his gaze stopping only when it connects with a glare from across the room. Boba Fett is watching him. Boushh shifts slightly, cradling his weapon lovingly. Boba Fett with equal arrogance gives Boushh a nod of ominous acknowledgment.
---

This is my favorite scene out of all the Star Wars films. Why? because Boba Fett is my favorite character. "What does this scene have to do with Boba Fett?" I hear you ask. Well, while all the courtiers have fallen into a flap, Boba Fett doesn't duck or weave out of the way. He raises is blaster in readiness, assesses the situation then lowers his weapon again. He isn't phased in the least, and this scene, to me, defines his character completely.

He is a bounty hunter of few words and fewer scenes, but given he's still alive at this point in the film, must be fairly good at what he does. Yeah, OK.. he did help out Darth Vadar in capturing Han Solo, but he was just doing his job.

We don't get to see much about Boba Fett's life, other than he's the son of Jango Fett (who is killed by Obiwan). As Boba also became a bounty hunter it's safe to say he followed in his fathers footsteps. But like all bounty hunters who live by the blaster, he dies by the... Well actually he doesn't die by the blaster.

Unfortunately, his jet pack is damaged in the fight with Luke over the Dune Sea. He hits the side of Jabba's sand barge and falls into the pit of Carkoon, and the waiting jaws of the all-powerful Sarlacc, where he's digested over a thousand years. Not a nice way to go.

He's a crafty bugger, and given his cunning and craftiness, I like to think he got out.

On the next turn of the wheel, I'd like to be Boba Fett.

I've noticed there are a number of lists around titled '100 books you must read', '100 albums you must listen to' etc etc. I'm starting a list of my own. 1001 experiences you must have before you die. This is actually a metamorphosis from a blog I was going to publish about the sense of smell and how it can take you back to a place in time that you have associated to it. I decided to change that blog entry to encompass all experiences so as not to be limiting.

Of course, I'm not going to plug away at the keys and come up with a list of all 1001. It would be rather one-sided. I'll just start it off. Perhaps if the authors of those other lists read this blog they might decide to take up the challenge and publish something official. Perhaps it's already been done...

As you read through the list (they are not in any particular order), and perhaps take up the challenge, remember... it is the journey, not the destination. Remember also to use all your senses, not just your eyes. Some of these experiences will seek you out, you won't need to go looking. Some of them you won't create, but just be there. All of them will make you more human.

New rain on savannah grass
Sulphur from the caldera of a volcano
Wood-smoke in the remote countryside of China
An open-air spice market on a warm day
An open ocean breeze
A tea-plantation
A pine forrest
A eucalypt forrest
Freshly tilled earth in a 3rd world country
An authentic house of every major religion on earth
Standing 20m away from your car for 10mins in a remote part of Kruger National Park
The wind in a field of bamboo
A ferocious electrical storm
Jumping in puddles
Holding the hand of a child
Standing beneath the Eiffel Tower
Strolling through the Colosseum
A BBQ with old friends
Solitude
2 days without food
Hiking to the top of a mountain
Gut-aching laughter
Being a pillion on a motorcycle
Diving with sharks (cage optional)
Stroll around the Pyramids
A child crying
Freshly baked bread
A city's land-fill rubbish tip
A nation's war memorial
The opposing nation's war memorial
An orphanage

...to be continued.

Just recently I implemented Novell Audit 2.0.3 at work. I chose this product because of its ability to audit a wide range of systems, collect information from a wide range of sources, and is extensible. You can import log schemas and extend the capabilities of the software.

The Audit starter pack is free and the secure logging server can run on Netware, Linux and Windows. It integrates with eDirectory and uses iManager for administration. Data can be stored in a number of different databases (I chose MySQL) and also a flat file. Straight out of the box, Audit can log events from Identity Manager, Netware, Windows event logs, eDirectory, iChain, syslogs and a number of other sources. Audit can also audit itself, have the agents sign each event, and send information securely.

Because I'm storing information in a MySQL database I can easily query it with SQL either from within iManager, or as I do using a free SQL query tool. Audit comes with a reporting tool of its own, but it's time bombed for 10mins unless you upgrade the starter pack to a fully licensed install.

My installation process was fairly straight forward. The documentation is quite easy to follow but I did make sure I upgraded MySQL, PERL and PHP to the latest versions available. Uninstallation is just as easy and the uninstall will also remove the schema extensions leaving your TREE clean.

My secure logging server is Netware (of course). MySQL on Netware absolutely screams... read incredibly fast. I will probably move the secure logging service to Linux in the future, but at the moment I am completely confident with Netware.

I have installed instrumentation and agents on all my primary servers for Netware, DNS, FS, eDirectory, Identity Manger, and on AD domain controllers. These are configured easily with a single file, logevent.cfg or logevent.conf, and should the secure logging server go offline, the agents will automatically cache events locally until they detect the logging server is back. The eDirectory instrumentation is also clever enough to ignore or accept replicated events.

I'm logging most events but not all of them and to give an indication of data storage required the MySQL database is growing by around 750MB per day.

The FREE starter pack does most of what you'll need it to do. Download it from Novell today and give it a try, you'll breeze through your next audit with ease.

Tags: Novell

What occurs when you let a manager out on their own...

The divide between the haves and the have nots, is getting wider. I have said this before, and no doubt you've heard it too. The selfish hoarding of wealth and resources by the minority for the betterment of only the minority is increasing. Already it is said that 5% of the worlds population controls 95% of the worlds wealth and resources.

It is obvious that selfishness is the curse of humanity and that no matter how we try to avoid it, there will always be a "class" into which each of use will be slotted. This division of class will be thrust upon us by those who have the control, those who have.

Think about that, and while you do, think about this...

"All over the world, I will back the masses against the classes"
~ William E Gladstone

If the wheel keeps turning as it has, what do you think the end-game will look like when it completes the revolution?

Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar", every "supreme leader", every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there — on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

~ Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot

If you don't think Monty Python is some of the funniest stuff around then there's something wrong with you. I have noticed that a lot of the younger generation (younger than me) do not understand the humour of the Pythons.

I believe this is genetic damage. I'm convinced that something in the water has caused irreversible damage to the funny genes of the current generation. How on earth could there ever be such a personality like 'Emo' if they understood Monty Python at a genetic level? It's impossible.

However, this damage can be reversed with a solid dose of Python twice a day for one week. Only one week, such is the power of the Python.

I recommend the following: two coconut-halves of "Holy Grail" followed quickly by a fjord-full of "Parrot Sketch". If the patient requires something stronger, crucify-by-immediate-discussion with "Life of Brian" at the end of the week.

I particularly liked the Bruces' sketch and can't help but feel it was rather closer to the truth than the 'learned types' care to admit.

[Queue the Pythons]

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel.

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away--
Half a crate of whisky every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram,

And René Descartes was a drunken fart.
'I drink, therefore I am.'

Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker,
But a bugger when he's pissed.

Tags: humor

I'm a big fan of Stargate SG1, have been since it started. I think it's the quirky personalities mixed with science fiction. I consider SG1 to be training in how to deal with ET when we finally get to meet them.

Colonel O'Neill is my favorite character, his bumbling wise-cracking way is hilarious. The military would be mad to choose anyone else to represent Earth when negotiating with an alien species.

The other day, the discussion that occurred between the brasserie and the office touched on our team members and which members of the SG1 team they were most alike. Going through the team we came to me.

Apparently I'm most like Daniel Jackson.
Ok stop laughing now... This was Chappo's opinion, and while my immediate response was akin to WTF!!?? I have since accepted it as a good deal... even if I don't totally agree.

Daniel Jackson is the bookworm that turned. He's intelligent, can negotiate with aliens, can decipher alien languages, makes glasses look cool, can handle a military weapon with aplomb, always seems to have his head in a book, and is rather good looking as far as guys go ("buff" is a word that was used). I know what you're thinking... to be someone like that sounds GREAT!! ..the girls would go nuts.

However, I am none of those things. (I could probably handle the weapon though.)

The reasons given were interesting, and it did make me think.
It just goes to show, that how the world sees us, is not what we expect.

...don't worry Paul, Carter is an excellent character :-)

"Take all that you need. NOT all that you can."

This is an interesting turn of phrase and it seems to be the reciprocal of society in general, at least in the western world. Yes, once again I generalize heavily but I can only report on what I observe for myself. Yes, I know there are good folk out there doing their bit to help. So I say to those good folk, duck out of the way, this isn't aimed at you.

need |nēd|
verb [ trans. ]
1 require (something) because it is essential or very important.

essential
adjective
1 crucial, necessary, key, vital, indispensable, important, all-important, of the essence, critical, imperative, mandatory, compulsory, obligatory; urgent, pressing, paramount, preeminent, high-priority, nonnegotiable;

important
adjective
1 significant, consequential, momentous, of great import, major; critical, crucial, vital, pivotal, decisive, urgent, historic; serious, grave, weighty, material; formal of great moment.

So you see, a need is NOT:

The latest car
More than one house
The latest fashion
The latest gadget regardless of what it is
A degree to seem intelligent or educated
Internet access
More money
...I'm sure you can think of others

If you disagree with me, then YOU are part of the consumerism problem that caused the phrase at the top of this blog entry to be formed. YOU are part of the problem. YOU!

When did taking all the lollies from the bowl instead of one or two, become par for the course?
Spare a thought for the people of the world who have nothing. Society, and in particular western society is primarily to blame for the current human condition. You DO NOT have the right to everything you want. You DO have the right to all that you need.

Don't think you're fooling people by saying, "Oh, I contribute back to society by blah blah and blah". It's belittling to those who need to put out their hand and ask. The hit to their self-worth is incalculable. Contribute by not taking it in the first place.

It's not difficult to fix. Just stop taking all the lollies.

If we as humans can't fix human society, who will? Monkeys?
Perhaps Donkeys? ...no that can't work, the planet doesn't NEED any more asses!

...just my 2c worth.

"Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money."
~ Cree Indian saying

Post update:
About an hour after uploading this blog entry I caught Today Tonight on Channel 7. The story was about Australian doctors volunteering in Bangladesh helping rebuild facial deformities in the children of that country. The lady doctor at the centre of the story said "We have the ability to help, so we have to help... we just have to help". There are not enough people in the world like her. Just imagine...

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways on a motorcycle, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!

... yeah you've read it before, but still a good way to look at life. I added the motorcycle bit ;-)

I don't eat much chocolate, it's too sweet, so I'd need to find something else to have in my hand at the time. The martini can stay however. Which poses an interesting question...

What would you replace the chocolate and martini with?

Now think about this. When you read that first paragraph smiling to yourself remembering it from the last time you read it, I doubt the image of the person in your mind was a yobbo and general nuisance to society. But probably more along the lines of someone, slightly inebriated who seemed to have got the most enjoyment out of life, without destroying the lives of those around them. Am I right? I think I am.

Now if we extrapolate this a little further, yobbos aside, this person you may have pictured in your mind is probably at odds with the image that most fiscally focused people wish to project to the world. People with money, generally (and I do generalise heavily) like to show the rest of society that they have money. How they do this might be subtle but enough to notice, or grandiose. They buy the new car every couple of years, the fancy house, the pool... they seem to have all the luxuries that people with money seem to require just to maintain their status as "People with money". They dress in smart clothes, they dine in fancy restaurants, and before long they may even start to look down their noses at those people who appear NOT to have money. They may start to pour their energy into maintaining their look of wealth, just to ensure they stand apart from those they have deemed not to have any.

This is not keeping up with, but "keeping ahead of the Jones", and is exactly what a burgeoning economy requires of its citizens. For how can one stay ahead of the "Jones" if all we have is the same opportunity to make the same amount of money? To get ahead of the "Jones" in our fiscal society requires us to spend more than the Jones do, and just trying to keep up with them is not sufficient enough for our economists, they require us to spend more and more each time, profits must always increase...never stabilise. Thus the economic spiral goes up, while the social spiral goes down. Those who require to acquire become socially distant from those who don't have the requirement to acquire. The latter are those who came to the realisation that wanton accumulation of wealth cannot continue unabated and so opted out of the whole process.
"What's my point?" I hear you ask...

Well... If one part of society is spending so much energy and time trying to out-do one another just to maintain an appearance of "Wealth", who do you think is ultimately going to represent the image you pictured in your mind when you read the opening paragraph?

The ones who realised early enough in their short lives that life was for LIVING not for ACQUIRING. They're the ones with the chockie bar in one hand and alcoholic beverage in the other. The other part of society is trying so bloody hard not to look like, or be like them that they have forgotten to really LIVE.

Which will you be? I'm acquiring a taste for chocolate.


PS. I'd like to meet the Jones, they're probably a great bunch of people but they've caused a hell of a problem.

Ok, it's about time I introduced everyone to my ride. Say "Hidee Ho".
I would say new, but I've had it since March this year ('07). This is the Suzuki DL650 V-Strom in all its glory. Light, quick, nimble, zippy, dangerous... all these words apply. Follow the link to see the specs.

I bought it with crash-bars, hand guards and a Ventura rack. What I still need to get is:
Bash plate
Panniers (also perhaps a tank bag)
GPS
Better tyres
Gun rack

...(I noted the silent pause after that last one. And you think I'm kidding!)

The power-plant is a V-twin taken from the SV650. It hooks along very nicely, however I'm considering a larger front sprocket just to bring down the revs a bit in top gear. It took a while to get the suspension set right for me, but I've finally settled at the minimum preload for the back shock. I could probably tinker with the front to make it even better but for the moment I just want to ride it.

Fuel economy is excellent at 23.5kms per Litre, or 4.25L per 100kms. That's running on super-high-octane-premium-rocket-fuel which costs under $20 a tank to fill up.

Also just registered at Adventure Rider and looking for a good motorcycle touring guide of Australia (suggestions appreciated).

Why Suzuki? Well this is my third Suzuki and they seem to be rather reliable. Plus, the GSXR1100 is rather quick, and I'd like to be riding something out of the same stable as that ol' hoss. OK, so I couldn't afford the BMW 1200GS. That may come later :-)

With this blog entry I have added a new category - Motorcycle Madness. I'll use this one to keep you all up-to-date on my two-wheeled lunacy.

Come along Patsy, we're off to find Camelot.

Tags: motorcycles

"First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is."
- Buddhist proverb.

I'm not sure where I came up with this for a blog entry but it should provide some thought provoking err... thought.
There are so many meanings that one can apply to this proverb, and it's probably why I like it so much. My take on it is this:

You are something if you are nothing after having been something.

'What the..?' I hear you say.

Let me explain why I think it talks about three stages in life.

One starts out in life full of aspirations, goals, challenges...dreams. You set these goals and challenges for yourself based on what others think you should be, for at this stage you are usually young and impressionable. Once, having realised these goals (but not necessarily achieved them..there is a difference, and if you don't understand what this is then this blog entry will be lost on you), you have become something, a success, a failure..something, it matters not what. Not everyone moves past this stage of life, they get caught up in the machine of their society and continue in this stages tiny circle. For me, the 'mountain' represents the 'challenge' whatever that may be.

Those that do move past the first stage come to realise that life is more than being driven to becoming the success that was placed upon them in the first stage, In other words 'Keeping up with the Joneses'. In this second stage they become free to choose to do whatever they desire to do/be, rather than what society, friends, family think they should be or be doing. Now that one is free, there is no 'mountain'. Having been something, there are no longer any hurdles or challenges, nothing... only dreams, only freedom.

The final stage is this: Having met the challenge and become something, and after realising freedom over those challenges, to choose for oneself, one has become SOMETHING. One has BECOME the mountain.

"First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is."

...Just my thoughts on the matter.

I decided to wash the bike today. It has been a while and I was feeling sorry for it, the amount of bug-guts smeared over the fuselage was becoming a distraction for the flies.

Sudsy foam washer in hand I began to scrub back the layers of splat, when to my surprise I uncovered a startling truth...



Seems the bike has aligned itself with the rider!

Tags: apple, mac

So clean. So... Intelligent.

Tags: apple, mac, OS X

Well I've been fiddling around with Leopard for a few days now and am fully back up and running. The entire process was hassle free.

This is the process I followed:

1. took an image with carbon copy cloner to my external drive
2. took a second image with CCC to my external drive
3. then copied my documents folder to the external drive
4. the booted of my OS X 10.4 CD and used Disk Utility to take a clone of the entire hard drive to my external disk.

5. Inserted the OSX 10.5 CD and started the install
6. I think the term is "nuke 'n pave"

Done.

All the good stuff you've probably heard about is true.. it's all good!

Even on my MacBook Leopard is quite a bit faster in just about everything.

Updates as the come in...

Tags: apple, mac, OS X